Minding Our Elders®

Don’t get stressed over memory test

Dear Carol: My husband is in his 40s and his father had Alzheimer’s. Now my husband is obsessed with the fact that he may get it, too. He took a test online, and he says it looks like he may have a problem. How can I help him? – Pat

Dear Pat: I’m guessing that your husband found the Mini Mental State Exam online and took the test to evaluate himself. This is the danger of having everything at our fingertips.

While it’s true that the Mini Mental is often one tool a doctor uses to determine if dementia is present, a good doctor, first of all, knows how to evaluate the test properly. Also, the test would be only one tool in determining the health of the individual.

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Department of Treasury Survey Says Direct Deposit the Way to Go

I find this information interesting enough to pass along. Direct deposit seems much safer than paper checks, and people don't have to wait for the mail or worry about a holiday slowing things down. Now, the Department of Treasury is sending out encouragement to caregivers and seniors to "Go Direct."

The information in this press release comes from the Department of Treasury:

I wanted to be sure you’re aware of new findings from a nationwide survey of caregivers and others, sponsored by the U.S. Department of the Treasury’s Financial Management Service. According to findings of the survey, half of American caregivers are now helping to manage the finances of a parent, friend or other person needing their care – adding significantly to caregivers’ levels of stress and anxiety. Surprisingly, only 52 percent of caregivers receiving Social Security payments on behalf of the person they care for say they use direct deposit.

A longstanding priority for Treasury, direct deposit is a decades-old time-saving tool that is safer, easier and gives people more control over their money than paper checks. According to Treasury information, when there is a problem with a Social Security payment, nine times out of 10 it’s with a paper check, not a direct deposit payment. Last year alone, an estimated $64 million in Treasury-issued checks – including Social Security payments – were fraudulently endorsed.

Please consider sharing this information with your readers and letting them know that federal benefit recipients can easily switch from paper check to direct deposit through Treasury’s Go Direct^® campaign helpline, 1-800-333-1795, or online at www.GoDirect.org. The Go Direct^® campaign is sponsored by the U.S. Department of the Treasury and Federal Reserve Banks.

Please note that the U.S. Department of the Treasury’s Financial Management Service is the source of this information.

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Night Care One More Care Option to Consider

I'll never forget Hazel. She lived at Rosewood when my uncle was there, and was still there when my dad, mom and mother-in-law, one at a time, became residents. Hazel would often sleep during the day, but at night she would walk. And walk. And walk. Hazel literally must have walked thousands of miles thorough the years, and a lot of those miles were put on at night. She'd walk up and down the halls, then stop and sigh, "I'm soooo tired." The staff, and even family members like me, would say, "Of course you're tired, Hazel. Why don't you sit and rest?" Hazel would sit for maybe a minute and then say, "But I have to go." And on she'd go, walking until she was ready to drop. She walked during the day in her early years, but that switch to nighttime. I don't know what a person trying to care for Hazel in a family home would do.

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"Hugging Grandma" Helps Grandchildren Handle Dementia

Hugging Grandma is the new kid on the block when it comes to books that help young children understand the many changes that dementia can bring to a grandparent's behavior.

Written by Zina Karmer, and illlustrated by Dave Messings, this charming book tells the story of a little girl and her relationship with her grandmother. Grandma was once a wonderful playmate and delightful to be around. Then things began to change, and eventually grandma doesn't even recognize her little granddaughter. 

Any of us who have seen our kids grapple with the changes dementia brings in much beloved grandparent can relate to this book. I'm delighted to see more of these enter the market. It means, from my perspective, that dementia is coming out in the open. People are trying to explain the changes to their children, and children are learning that their grandparents aren't just suddenly "weird." They are ill. Children are also learning that they can give back to the grandparent, by being helpful. They don't have to be afraid of change.

Hugging Grandma is one of those books that can help young children understand that they aren't the only child who faces this dilemma. The book is available online and in bookstores.

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Don’t allow caregiving to take over your life

Dear Carol: Two years ago, my dad had a stroke. With a lot of help, he recovered quite well. About the time I thought I could get back to my normal life, which includes a wife and children, my mother had a heart attack. Mom is now OK, but they both have become very dependent on me. I was happy to help when they needed me, but sometimes I resent the fact that my parents take up so much of my time. I’ve expected to help in emergencies, but this has become a chronic situation and I only see it getting worse. I really don’t know what to do. – Ted

Dear Ted: Caregiving has a way of sneaking up on people. Often, it starts out with an emergency like your dad’s stroke or your mom’s heart attack. But, since aging folks generally have at least

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“Test Your Memory” Self Test But Should Be Professionally Evaluated

For decades, the mini-mental state examination has been the gold standard of "quick exams" given by mental health professionls. This test is one that is generally part of an examination given when diagnosing dementia. While the test alone isn't conclusive, it's been considered a very good tool. Enter a new test called "Test Your Memory" or TYM   Like the mini-mental, this test evaluates cognitive ability and can be self-administered. Researchers say it is faster and more accurate than current methods, but like the mini-mental, it results should be evaluated by a professional.

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The Choices We Make Can Help Us Age “Successfully” – Or Not

There's something attractive to most people about putting right that which is wrong. We want to fix things. This attraction leads many people into lives of science, medicine and other areas where research to help those with diseases has a strong draw. These are good people. They want to make a difference in the world and combat diseases that rob people of their health.

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Younger Seniors and Older Elderly: How Nursing Homes Need to Adjust

Once upon a time, most people who went into nursing homes were very old. Many were near death. The homes were set up for staff efficiency and the residents were pretty much considered generic “old people.”

They were “treated” to the same kind of music, whether they loved it or loathed it. They had three hearty meals a day, with a heavy noon meal suited to a farmer still tilling the soil. The group exercise involved throwing a large ball around, which few could comprehend they were supposed to catch. The caregivers meant well (usually) and called them honey or dear. These old people stayed in the nursing home as they waited to die. Times have changed.

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Memories of father before his dementia

Father’s Day and my birthday are always close together, this year falling back to back. I smile as I look at a copy of an old photo taken when my dad and I first met. Because I was born during World War II, Dad didn’t see me until he came home on leave when I was 6 months old. It’s one of my favorite pictures of Dad, the young soldier post brain injury, once again walking and talking. Gratitude and pride beam from his face as he holds his little daughter while embracing his 3-year-old son with his other arm.

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How to Communicate When Your Elderly Parent Can No Longer Speak

A video I recently stumbled upon remains vivid in my mind.  An elderly couple who had spent a lifetime devoted to one another was coping with the wife’s Alzheimer’s disease. At this point, the wife was in a nursing home. She was unhappy, aggressive and even combative with the staff. No one knew what to do with her.

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